Eat like Queen Elizabeths' pooches

The Queen has 4 Corgis, each of which is accustom to being served by a butler and eating off of a silver platter, according to an article by People. The article claims the dogs each have their own menu, depending on needs, and the menus include "homeopathic and herbal remedies."  


If 4 corgis are eating like the furry kingsmen they are, why should we eat like peasants? Here are some remedies to treat yourself to, all of which can be grown in your backyard, silver platter optional. (The following are my assumptions as to why the Queens' dogs need these delicacies, purely speculative.)

Peppermint: If you brew this stuff as tea, it can soothe the digestive system. Good for if you consumed some rotten kibble and need relief.

Mullein: Its soothing properties can alleviate bronchial respiratory infections. Good for after you spend hours barking at other little dogs. F&$#in little shits.

Thyme: Can heighten bravery and ward off those nightmares that creep in while you're busy dreaming of your next silver platter dish.

Lavender: Can be used as a mild antidepressant when the silver platters are dirty and you are forced to eat off of a disposable dish instead.

Calendula: Used as an anti-fungal after sniffing other K9 booty all day.

Any science from this article can be attributed here, as I studied English.