Five Guys Burgler

WASHINGTON  •    Authorities say a man got hungry while he was burglarizing a District of Columbia hamburger restaurant and began cooking himself some food. 

Of course this was all caught on camera. Does this dummy not realize that I cannot even scratch my ass without it being caught on someones tape, how the hell did he think he was gonna get away with this?

Now if this is some homeless guy who was just grabbing a free meal, all the power to him, but I have never seen a homeless man dressed so nicely. 

It was also reported that he stole a water, which is the equivalent of stealing Monopoly money from a bank. Really guy? A water? The earth is 70% water, go find you own, no need to take Five Guys supply.

This would have been way better if the guy decided he wanted one of those massive bags of potatoes or a giant jug of nut oil that Five Guys keeps all over the restaurant.

I hope he enjoyed his burger, because he may get thrown in the slammer with a full stomach and not much else to show for this "burglary." On the other hand, he will always have this video and he can learn from his mistakes and move on to bigger things, like maybe robbing a cleaner, less greasy facility.