It's official, all panda bears are not created equal

The following photo is of a panda of sorts, in his "natural habitat."

Now, I understand that Mr. Sandoval plays the sport of baseball and there have been many pot-bellied dynamos over the years. That does not change the fact that the man signed a $95 million dollar contract last off season. America is beautiful. The Red Sox are on the hook for every dime of this portly panda's contract, because only in America can you be getting paid to play a professional sport, do whatever the hell you want during the off season, and come back with a smile and no consequences. That is no small belly, that is an extra human that the panda now has to tote around while he "fields" and "runs" the bases. If the Red Sox signed me to a $95 million dollar contract and told me to get this fat I don't think I could.