Amazon Echo

The Amazon Echo was called “the connected home experience you didn’t know you wanted” by Cnet.com. It’s actually a device that I know I don’t want.

When you take the Echo out of the box and power it on, you hear Alexa (the devices sultry voice), waking up. Unless I’m dating this Alexa chick, I have no interest in listening to her wake up. She says hello and then walks you through the process of setting her up. This sounds eerily similar to having a kid that needs things as soon as he or she awakes.

The Echo cannot perform any task that a smartphone can’t and you cannot sit there and tell me you do not already own one of those. Weather forecasts, turning lights on and off, streaming music and looking up words in a dictionary can all be done by the smart phone you carry around in your pocket all day and use to converse with text actual humans.

The good news is that Echo has over 100 apps, one of which can fart on command and another that has the power to spew out cat facts. You read that right.

For $180 the Echo can be yours, and your house can begin to transform into a “smart house,” (because someone decided that was the new must have thing) and begin the process of kicking your ass out.