The Old Man Manning List

SB Nation recently published a list of Peyton Manning's NFL records in the wake of rumors that he has finally made his decision to retire. It has taken him wayyyyyyyy too long to make this decision, which he probably has yet to make. Anyways, if you have yet to figure out I'm a Pats fan, spoiler alert. Here's the list of Manning's records. 

  • NFL career passing touchdown record: 539 = very impressive, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
  • Most passing yards, career: 71,940 = Indianapolis was a throw first offense the entire time he was the QB. Ask Andrew Luck how that is going now-a-days. 
  • Single season touchdown record (2013): 55 = See the first line item.
  • Most passing yards, season (2013): 5,477 = The NFL is a passing league. I'm surprised Brees or Stafford doesn't have this meaningless record. 
  • Most wins (including playoffs): 200 = This is impressive, and will be broken by Brady very soon.
  • Most games throwing for 300+ yards: 93 = See stat about career passing yards.
  • Most passing touchdowns in a single game (tied, 2013): 7 = Incredible. 
  • Most games with a passing rating higher than 105: 97 = Fire Flames.
  • Most games with a perfect passer rating of 158.3: 5 = This is why he is the sheriff. 
  • Most seasons with 350+ completions: 10 = Impressive, noddle arm and all.
  • Most games completing 80-percent passing: 19 = See Aretha Franklin reference in first line item.
  • Most game-winning drives: 56 = Will be broken by Brady.
  • Most comeback wins: 45 = Will be broken by Brady, surprised he is still behind. 
  • Highest completion percentage in a postseason game with 450+ yards (2005): 81.8 = This stat is smells of ESPN stats and info people.
  • Highest yards-per-game, season (2013): 342.31 = PASSING LEAGUE.
  • Most games with 4+ touchdown passes: 25 = Not human. The red zone is not an easy place.
  • Most seasons passing for 4,000+ yards: 14 = LEAGUE FULL OF PASSING.
  • Most consecutive seasons with 25+ touchdowns: 13 = Impressive that he stayed healthy enough.
  • One of two quarterbacks to ever beat all 32 teams (along with Brett Favre) = Neat stat, not sure what it means overall though.
  • First quarterback to beat 31 franchises: 2007 = See previous line item.
  • Most Associated Press NFL MVP awards: 5 (2003, 2004, 2008, 2009, 2013) = The MVP award is like high school superlatives, popularity contest all the way.

Peyton is a top 5 all time player, just needs to retire so I can officially rank him.