Cops and My 600 Pound Life

Tonight my roommate and I somehow ended up flipping back and forth between Spike TV and TLC. The 2 shows that were on were Cops and My 600 pound Life. I am not ashamed to say it was one of the most entertaining nights of television I have experienced in a long time. 

On Cops you got criminals running wild only to be caught and immediately claim they had nothing to do with whatever crime they are being charged with.

"Tonight you are going to jail for meth and evading arrest."

"That's not my meth and I would never run from the police."

"Sir, this baggie of meth was found in your front pocket and I just chased you 3 blocks."

"But, I already did time, why would I.."

"Watch your head."

It will never make sense to me how anyone thinks its a good idea to do anything but let the police catch you. Every little thing a criminal does adds to the charges they already have coming. Instead of going to jail for the night for having a little weed on your person, they find themselves in prison for evading arrest, concealing a weapon, threatening an officer, endangering the public, the list goes on and on.

If you are on the run from the cops just know that they are literally following you with calculators just tacking on charges left and right. And the officers on the show Cops are going to throw the kitchen sink at anyone they can to prove how bad ass they are.

Flip the channel to TLC and we got a 650 pound woman eating fast food and breaking toilets. I feel bad for these people, most of whom have some sort of a condition that leads to the massive weight gain. 

But, I no longer have any sympathy if and when they lay in bed and eat KFC. Colonel Sanders has never fixed a weight issue, never has, never will. Not to mention the fact that if you can no longer fit into cars and/or bathrooms, you would think maybe you should work towards losing a few pounds. I'm not saying you need to run marathons, but you could at least attempt to not east fast food for every meal.

In the episode I witnessed last night the girl was getting mad at her husband for flirting with girls on social media. She was furious at him while he was walking to and from the grocery store buying healthy food for her to eat because she was incapable of doing so on her own. He was also pushing her wheelchair around, helping her stand up, doing everything.

Few points I'd like to make. First, if you are 650 pounds, all rules about your husband not flirting with other women go out the window. Especially if he is right by your side day and night, making sure you have what you need because without that you would be dead. So he wants to stare at some nude photos and maybe send some of his own, he's earned it.

Second, being too fat for weight loss surgery should be a major wake up call. If picking between the KFC Party Bucket and the rest of your life is a decision you ponder, you cannot be saved. Its literally "give me KFC or give me death." 

What a time to be alive when we have the opportunity to flip between people eating cheeseburgers and others throwing cheeseburgers at one another during a domestic dispute. (That actually happened, and yes, they denied it.)